User blog:Twentyfists/100 Smartass Truths
You know those Facebook quizzes that are passed around via Notes? Well, I make it my goal to create the most smartass answers possible while telling the truth with those. Sincerity is rarely found. Below is an example. WHAT WAS YOUR: 1. last beverage = Milk, motherfucker! 2. last phone call =My dad 3. last text message =Jeremiah, asking for 40 cents to buy Daniel some shoes 4. last song you listened to =Take This Life by In Flames 5. last time you cried =Driving through West Virginia. Most depressing place ever. HAVE YOU EVER: 6. dated someone twice = No 7. been cheated on =No 8. kissed someone & regretted it=Now why would I do that? 9. lost someone special = In a sense, yes. 10. been depressed = Too many times. 11. been drunk and threw up = Not to my knowledge. LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS: 12.Black 13. Red 14. Green THIS YEAR HAVE YOU: (2009) 15. Made a new friend = Yep 16. Fallen out of love = What is that supposed to mean? 17. Laughed until you cried = No 18. Met someone who changed you = Yes 19. Found out who your true friends were =I already knew! 20. Found out someone was talking about you = Yeah. I don't mind. 21. Kissed anyone on your FB friend's list = Yes. GENERAL: 22. How many people on your FB friends list do you know in real life = Pretty much all of them. 24. Do you have any pets = My cats and my sister's got some fish. 25. Do you want to change your name = No 26. What did you do for your last birthday = Ate some steak and saw Valkyrie 27. What time did you wake up today = 8:40, then went back to sleep because it was too goddamn early 28. What were you doing at midnight last night = Reading about Abraham Lincoln 29. Name something you CANNOT wait for = Assassin's Creed 2. Fucking badass. 30. Last time you saw your Mother = Last night 31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life = I'd wish to be a little more awesome 32. What are you listening to right now = Land of Confusion cover by In Flames 33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom = Too many times 34. What's getting on your nerves right now = Human stupidity. 35. Most visited webpage = Facebook or that other place that only a select few know about 36. Where do you want to be right now? = Stomping some colon in Ocean City with my friends 37. Nicknames = I really don't want to go there. 38. Relationship Status = Single 39. Zodiac sign = Who the fuck cares? But it's Capricorn 40. Male or female? = I do believe I'm a male 41. Elementary? = Get real 42. Middle School = Thankfully, no. 44. Hair color =Like a brownish black 45. Long or short =Long, but you can't tell 46. Height = About 6 foot 47. Do you have a fear? = Yeah, I do. 48: What do you like about yourself? = I really dunno. I have to live with myself, and I prefer to think about what needs fixing 49. Piercings = No 50. Tattoos = Naw 51. Righty or lefty = Righty FIRSTS : 52. First surgery = Wisdom teeth, unless it was something when I was a baby 53. First piercing = None 54. First best friend = That Justin kid in Kindergarten 55. First kiss = There's been a couple. Not like you care. 56. First vacation = Ireland, 6 months old 58. First crush = I don't even know. RIGHT NOW: 59. Eating = Nothing 60. Drinking = Nothing 61. I'm about to = Pick a new song to listen to. Hold on... 62. Listening to = "Ruin" by Lamb of God 63. Waiting for = Something eventful to happen YOUR FUTURE : 64. Want kids? = Yeah. I need someone to beat up upon when I'm down. Actually, sure. Don't worry, I won't beat my children. I'll just discipline them when it's needed. 65. Get Married? = Yeah. 66. Career? = Something smart and goddamn awesome. 67. Lips or eyes = Both 68. Hugs or kisses = Kisses, definitely. Hugs are easy. 69. Shorter or taller = Within reason 70. Older or Younger = Let's be real here. I'd say something within reason 71. Romantic or spontaneous = Don't think about it. 72. Nice stomach or nice arms = Both? 73. Sensitive or loud = Well, this question is obviously weighted. How about "introvert or exotrovert"? I find both attractive 74. Hook-up or relationship = There's a difference? 75. Trouble maker or hesitant = Don't think about it. HAVE YOU EVER : 76. Kissed a stranger = No. 77. Drank hard liquor = Yes. 78. Lost glasses/contacts = SUNglasses 79. Played spin the bottle? = Yes 80. Broken someone's heart = Probably 81. Had your own heart broken = Too many times. It's not even a heart, it's just heart-colored dust. 82. Been arrested = No 83. Turned someone down = YES 84. Cried when someone died = Yeah 85. Fallen for a friend? = What the hell does that mean? DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 86. Yourself = Sure 87. Miracles = Yeah, like Bioshock 88. Love at first sight = Dunno 89. Heaven = Give you something to shoot for, don't it? 90. Santa Claus = No 91. Kiss on the first date = We'll find out, I guess. 92. Angels = They're too badass to NOT exist. ANSWER TRUTHFULLY: 93. Had more than one bf/gf? = No 95. Did you sing today? = Yeah. You should hear how I sing "Trouble" by Skindred 96. Ever cheated on somebody? = No 97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go, and why? = Ten minutes ago to stop myself from doing this quiz. 98. If you could pick a day and relive it, what would it be? = Probably some kind of awesome day in Ocean City 99. Are you afraid of falling? = Nope, just the ground 100. Posting this as 100 truths? = Yes, with a little change... Category:Blog posts